Controling my sanity

Craptastic? Awesome word.

That wasn't craptastic! That was brilliant, seriously. Hauntingly beautiful.

Ooh, that was very nice. I liked it. Nice choice of words.

This is really random, but nice Avatar. I just noticed that it's Yuffie.

Aww, you changed it. Anyway, Yuffie is a character from a Playstation game series I love. Final Fantasy VII. Excellent games.

Alrighty, here's another thingy! It's sorta like a free-verse poem, only kinda lengthy, and not really in the poetic format. But that's what free-verse is all about, right? Heh. '^^
Anyway, here it is....Enjoy.

---

Yeah, I go through alot of crap,
And nobody's ever there.
I can cry myself to sleep,
And none of you people are ever there!

If I went away,
There would be no loss.
There would be no sorrow.
It wouldn't make a difference,
Because nobody really cares.

I pour out my feelings,
Not something I ever do,
But do you listen?
Of course not!

You're too wrapped up
In your happy little perks
While I sit in a corner
Slowly dying,
Watching you laugh and stare.
Because you honestly do not care.

Threaten to beat me
And call me these names.
It's not like it scares me.
Because I'm not afraid of you
Or anything you do.

So do what you wish
And I'll sit here alone
By myself.
But no surprise there.

My friends are very limited,
And you make fun of them, too.
I wish you would just shut
Your good-for-nothing mouths
Because you don't know what you're saying.

If you knew what was right
You'd leave me alone,
But you just have to keep on annoying me,
Trying to get me upset.

Well, it works.
Not like I'd admit it.
I try to ignore it.
Yeah, look what good that does.

I'll ignore you forever,
If I really have to.
Not like I care about anything
You dirty swine have to say
To me, about me, or anything else.

So go fall in a dark pit
And leave me the hell alone.
Leave my friends alone, too.
They don't deserve what you put them through.
And neither do I.
But I can handle it.
I can hold it all in
Without snapping,
Without having to hurt people.
But, obviously, not forever....

Did you honestly think
That I would care what you had to say?
If so, you're so wrong.
I could honestly care less....
---

If you hadn't figured out, it's kind of like an angsty () journal entry thingy. It belongs (if you will ) to one of the characters in my novel, who's going through alot of crap at high school, and, since she's not very poetic, I figured I should make it as 'simple' as I could. Soo...yep....There's the story behind that one. And no, it is deffinatly not one of my best. I actually don't like. Just figured I'd put it up here.

Aww, sad face. That's really depressing.

I have been with my current partner since i was 15 ( i am now 18) and for all this time have suffered from panic disorder. It has made my life hell, i dropped out of college and left home to live with my bf. However i now feel it was all a big mistake. I miss my parents constantly, am often at home alone all day where he is working, seem to have no hope of getting a job , no colleges will take me on. i basically sit at home all day on my own and i am incredibly lonely as i have no friends in this area. Any friends that i did make have been pushed away from me by my boyfriend. To make matters worse i have just found out i am pregnant and he is making me have an abortion. All my friends and family say to leave him but i am too scared to be alone and independant. He says no-one else will ever love me because of my panic disorder and if i leave he will commit suicide. I feel so hopeless. (Sorry For the Essay!!) x

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You just ruined this topic.