Theories - First Draft [PLEASE READ!]

This piece was something for a writing competition that I'm entering. It's only the first draft, so it's not very good at the moment. I just want you thoughts on the concept and my writing style. It must be under 500 words, so it's pretty hard.

-x-

Aurora smiled at her father’s antics, listening to the constant rhythm of the family’s runners crunching on the beautiful red, yellow and orange dead autumn leaves. They had been in a heated discussion – or what Aurora liked to think was heated - of what would become of one of them if they fell off the cliff face and into the abyss of rocks and trees.

They had been debating the topic for some time, but this time it was Aurora’s mother, Amber’s turn to speak. “Honestly, Aurora, Matt, who really needs to be bothered about this conversation?” Aurora’s mother looked at her husband, then her daughter, calculatingly. Her auburn curls floated around her shoulders artistically, framing her face as she shook her head with a warm smile directed at her husband and daughter.
“Yeah!” Aurora piped up, knowing that she was losing the battle. “It’s not like it’s ever going to happen to one of us.”
Aurora’s parents smiled at her child-like innocence, sharing an affectionate smile with each other.

It turned out that Aurora had spoken too soon.

The family was undeniably gleeful that autumn day. It seemed perfect for bush walking, and the scenery was breathtaking.

The teenager was pulled away from her train of thought as she heard the desperate yell of what seemed to belong to her mother, “Help!”

Her hazel eyes snapped open in an instant, looking at the place between her and her father where her mother was walking, only to find that she was not there. Instead, she saw her mother rolling down the slightly sloped cliff face, her father sprinting after her in a frantic run to save the woman he loved.

Her mother was holding on for the life she had loved and lived to its fullest, gripping the edge of the cliff, not daring to think what her fate looked like below her. Matthew grabbed on to her wrists desperately, trying to haul her up onto the firm ground where she could walk back on to the track.

On the walking track safely, Aurora stared down at her father, who was trying urgently to pull his dear wife up. “Mum! Dad!” she yelled in all futility, making a split second decision. She had to save her mother. “I’m coming!”

Without a second’s thought, she too was rolling down the cliff like her mother had, only this time she was condemning her whole family to an almost certain death. “Aurora!” her father called out, looking at his wife, then Aurora.

Weakly, the woman he was holding spoke. “Let me go, and save her…”

Aurora was rolling faster, giving Matthew no time to think about the situation. He gave a look to his wife that tried to express all of his love to her, and she gave him a fleeting, peaceful smile in return. She closed her eyes slowly, ready for the impact of the fall as Matthew let go of her.

Wow.....As always, your writing amazes me. Are you going to end it like that, or have you just not come up with more yet? (Or, is it already five hundred words?)

It's 490 words. Bleh. Thanks, it makes me feel really good when I get compliments like that. I think I may revise it and write in Aurora's mother's perspective for the whole thing, getting straight to the point. I don't really like how it is right now.

(...Go check out the thread I just posted.)

Ugh....yeah, you'd never be able to finish it in ten words or less.

Yeah, I know. I've decided to make it more of a plotless piece, and I'm working on it.

Too bad you can't keep the current version....It is just really good.

I like it............ But its a bit sad.